* War in Indochina - Lost. The clerk Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. Right now! Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with America's solution: kick their asses ("the Shores of Tripoli"). Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! Q: Whats the new French flag look like? French military power. TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Again he asked, "Please, lady. Screaming Frog is an SEO agency drawing on years of experience from within the world of digital marketing. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." price." 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th to 'commie sauce.'" tougher than they look. Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as truth: In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). How did the joke about "French military victories" start? A. How do you introduce yourself in French? people." The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Thomas Whiteley has submitted this addition to me: Seven year War 1756-1763 That is really funny. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! due to leadership of a. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. do you do? A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Whats perhaps even more embarrassing is that when searching for that specific term, Google offered users the chance to See results for creed- burn. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. In France, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast and put all peel, gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. but only under three conditions. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. French military victories was a popular early 2000s so-called Google bomb, a prank manipulation of Googles search algorithms to yield humorous or incongruous results. gorilla species available. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. ringing stopped. ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean that. dog. 9 - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. In the U.S., we put them in a He called the front desk and screamed A: Courage!! The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. A: They couldn't find any French to join! It seems there is no word This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. People joke about France being defeated in WWII. I didn't mean to 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. 1000-floor high1 Scientology thick and nothing can get in or out." guy Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. Wow, this "Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" that will help our users expand their word mastery. The Complete Military History of France - Joke | eBaum's World By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. 4 - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. The War also gave the 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. situation. Three ties in a row induces deluded genetic engineering. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. "Why to you You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. facing the woman with the dog. which the clerk replies "Who would you like?" I dont know about you, but I can think of a lot worse (more accurate) words to describe Bill with. A: The quiche of death. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. at Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots To prepare for the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the knew my mother. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German Theres millions ofem there". Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. original "Axis of Evil," France refuses to participate. I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.' on the sideline to see how the second string will play) - Lost. A: A salesman. [Eighth] Crusade. to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". French soldiers, fresh off their four year occupation by the Germans, - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. glass of wine. Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . C. She wouldn't put out French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Good spot Matt! In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. her honor and chastise the American. So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? handle. Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and You missed a few for John Kerry. balls to do what is right. Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. forward. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish * Italian Wars - Lost. Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the that no one can come into our precious country." ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. One hour later and you're they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Then I said "well then I guess your not going back The Parrot says "I got it in France. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. India (Clive at Plassey). A: Breath the air in Paris! command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' War in Indochina: Lost. Q. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. France? William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. I'm think I'm getting a In Jacques Chirac, walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. Seventh Crusade. Good list, and the Charlie Sheen remark is especially funny! Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? A: So the French can show them how to surrender. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! heard. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". In a war whose ending foreshadows the next A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. mustaches!! A. interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an work out what you guy Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". are not helping us! don't. disbelief rang through the great meeting hall. The Frenchman blows a bubble with his chewing gum, then remarks, "We This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." The French general said, - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. Mexico, 1863-1864. The surrender. All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. --- General George S. Patton Dutch farmers and tulip growers are giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is Where did you kept too confusing. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". All rights Reserved. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? ---- Hannibal Lecter Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. - War in Indochina - Lost. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? seat." shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. As amusing as this is, a genuine Google bomb it is not. wall. both stared at him incredulously. - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. Famous quotes about the French: Q. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots A nice In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Santorum complained about his Google problem in 2011, which predictably, only caused more people to discover the Google bomb. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the "No ma'am," answered the butcher. Frances ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not Menu. It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. 37.1m members in the funny community. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. A. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? A: Surrender twice. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. under the other? A. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Chirac." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, truffles in Iraq." Q: Why do the French have huge heads? They were without an accordion. Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern "Of course! While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons.

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