I am dry (we tried lubricant) and hes small (always been, but seems more so in his 60s) and he doesnt get or stay very hard at all. Sorry. Being refused is an essential part of the life of a person who is proactive in getting his or her wants met. I work part time at a day care and I find that when I havent gotten sleep the night before, my patience with the kids is really tested. Since this is our first child, I dont even know whats normal and what isnt. I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. I want that back in my life as well! But then she had a full hysterectomy to further reduce her hormone production, and from then on, sex has all but stopped. Should be a Clause in sickness and health and sex also! I agree, there is more going on than just someone spending all their time doing other things. Still, feeling like your wife doesnt want sex anymore? Even with all the gadgets and hired help, modern women have a lot on their plate. Except that one little thing. I self reflected and starting cooking again, especially on her late nights. You cant have me, but you cant have anybody else, is the most selfish and controlling position possible. I would walk a mile in this mans shoes before I offer advice. There are many causes, physical and emotional, why your wife wont have sex with you anymore. 9. Nathan I am in exactly the same position as you. Id say he has some other issues. Im so confused. I mean how do you do that if your married? i feel for you my spouse stopped being interested in sex 20 years ago at my age 51,for many years we had some extrem arguments and are still having them,,, to no avail what do you do. When is the last time you did something romantic for her without expecting sex in return? Yes it seems so mechanical and cut and dry the way some men are, so no sex is much more appealing. Now it is back to looking at every other couple as maybe having something unattainable for me and my Wife. Senior Planets comments are open for all readers/subscribers; we love hearing from you! A little over 43 without sex, or dealing with her, I do my own thing and dont really care what she does. 1. Should a husband and wife have equal weight in decision making when the husband shoulders ultimate risk for the consequences? contrasts what my Wife and her 7 siblings and and an unstable Mother made her as the oldest have us take in 2 of her brothers early in our marriage. Were just a hole for your pole . Except she doesnt like hugging or cuddling either. This is the best I have read. I think it is up to me to possibly leave my marriage because my husband is not about to change, discuss any issues, or ultimately have sex. An emotional affair or even a one-night stand that you think your wife doesnt know about? There is some offensiveness directed towards men but I can benefit from your observations. Here's her full guide to overcoming the sexual avoidance cycle, plus how to support a lower-libido partner. And pressure is a total libido killer that can set off a cycle of sexual avoidance, according to AASECT-certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, M.A. Do we cheat and risk hurting our wives and husbands? For example, depression, as well as the medication used to manage it, can take a toll on ones libido. A study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that women had more difficulty staying focused during intimacy and lower arousal levels when under stress. So selfish and controlling . I so badly need a woman Nothing, I mean nothing, kills a relationship, a marriage, a union, more thoroughly than complacency and boredom. Isnt it such a shame that Bob here, says he masturbates 3x a week and Im sitting here daydreaming what it would feel like to have it again after years that my husband just cant. At age 69, were certainly way beyond the procreation stage. Sorry long diatribe. And I love doggie! Without the energy of wooing, the fear of missing out if we do not woo, we fall into complacency and boredom. People might think Im lonely but Im not, I work alone and I get all the right answers talking to my self. Signs My Husband Isn't Attracted To Me - He Rejects Your Hugs, Kisses, And Touch. Why is a mans focus so connected to his ability to use a womans body to empty the contents of his balls? Also, I have experienced ageism in the job market. We have talked and talked with and without therapist, but its just talk. So as partners age, sometimes we have to stop asking for what is too painful for them to give. The children I mention are my children from a prior marriage and I do 100% of everything for them without any help from her. I own real estate property with my sister which provides some income. My point is, most of the sexless marriage problems are from the man not ruling. Ask your wife about how she's feeling about the relationship, about you, and about your life together, and see how you can get your relationship back to a good place. Our finances are so intermingled that to divorce means we cut our incomes in half facing either no sex or no home or food. So when your wife seems to frequently push you away and demonstrates through her words or actions that she has no interest in making love with you, this behavior is usually caused by a one or more triggering events. Needless to say, both of us are feeling a renewed awareness of who we were and now are. What shes done to me all these years was downright evil ! Color me confused. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. A free doctor approved gut health guide featuring shopping lists, recipes, and tips. What to do about it: Remember that it's OK to not want sex with your partner sometimes. How I wish the girls would ask ME to dance at school dances. Both men and women lose sex drives some times, but with proper nutrition and exercise etc it can be reclaimed. Weve been in counseling for a year. Now its more about independence- Im tired of living in my spouses value system . Did your husband cheat on you after you stop having sex with him? We were together for 14 years. And its understandable, its a very hard thing to accept. I hope that she too will woo me, always, as well. well, about a year ago she took it upon herself to say no more sex. * THE SECTION BELOW TO INSERT DYNAMIC VALUES FROM YOUR Unfortunately, Buck Necked is correct. We dont understand anything about foreplay or romance. Arguments and maltreatment are nothing to put up with. She put in over $300K on our $1M house and I told her we may need to sell it when my youngest graduates high school. Guys. Bob, my wife is the same way, says she feels bad she has zero interest in sex, but doesnt offer anything like oral or HJ either. I dont know why Im still here. If us men were all so lucky! I guess my story isnt as bad as many. You cannot force desire no matter what you do or if it is the other partner, same thing. She told me after having foreplay she thinks her vagina is dead because nothing arouses her. If you are not. When having sex she has to do most of the work especially when it takes him 45 minutes to get hard and all she wants to do is go to sleep because tommorow will come before she knows it or if one of the kids wakes up because they couldnt sleep or they are sick. Shes not. He is 69 (as am I) and weve been married 39 years and for him sex is a thing of the long past! Its bad. I felt like she just gave me away to anyone emotionally and physically. We are both active and healthy. Leave her, even if youre alone. That happens with prostate removal and my father had that and my mother didnt have to have sex with him anymore. I cannot speak for everyone, but I think we are all sexual beings with desire. I find that unfathomable. Id been wearing blinders believing shed never cheat. If both parties dont want to change things (and only one does) then unfortunately the situation is probably doomed. We have tried many times and many ways to lose weight, but his belly doesnt change much and hes passed his growing stage of life. When your wife avoids physical contact, it could be because of resentment, 13. Dont hold it against her. Having children may be one reason intimacy has decreased in your marriage, but it is not the only reason. When we first met, we had sex 2X a day morning and night. Im really suffering. This sounds exactly like my situation although I am the husband. Harley, yeah I believe men are more likely to complain then women in places like this. Sexuality is just part of the human condition but a life partner who is no longer interested or capable of providing that experience must be respected and understood. These promises went on for three years and sex dwindled to once a week, once a month then stopped altogether. I get angry, then sad and depressed. I have often thought about having an affair but I just dont know how to approach going that direction. Still in love with Vicky. Ive been married to my husband for 35 + years to an indifferent withholder for the entire marriage. If you guys love your wives and wanna stay till death and your having problems with containment, I lost all desire because I have no testosterone so its been a God send to me. It is not the loss of testicles as much as the loss of the prostate gland. I feel very blessed, because my gynecologist put me on low dose hormone therapy. He just didnt want me and wanted to be left alone, in his world. I thank you for stating in so frank a manner every frustration that has engulfed me for over 40 years. Your wife may not know how to put up her mom hat for the day and refocus on herself, which includes enjoying every aspect of her marriage. She will sit in bed on her phone though. I have tried everything too, to no avail, things only get worse, not better. It isnt about the phone or computer. You should make an effort to equally share the responsibilities because you care about her and your relationship, not because you hope it'll win you sex. What is the point of being married if there is no intimacy? I dont want to sleep in separate rooms or even separate beds. Woman think if they dont want a penis inside them that thats it, no sex. As your wife pushes you away, you might feel tempted to use porn, but porn robs you of genuine desire for your wife. And now we are old and the chance of my wife changing are now nil. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. As we age we need to look at things with a different perspective. Shes sorry, but I love her and say its ok. Should they swallow it just to make you feel good? Many marriages have been ruin, husband are sad, desperate, when wives started to isolate themselves. Like, whats wrong with me? Thank goodness we get along well in every other area, however Im at a loss. Ive even had the gumption to suggest that if HE doesnt desire sex, then maybe he could still give me pleasure. Be explicit about your needs and expectations. Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. Please explain to me. He will once in a while hold my hand for about a minute and always gives me a peck on the check before he goes to bed. Marriage is a dream or a fantasy. Prostitutes are not a good option since all the bad stuff in the sex industry world and I feel that I am too old to move on and I am not a chick magnet. We males, as the so perceived alphas in these situations, just accept and go along with the flow without ever considering the other; the what if . I would do just about anything to have a willing partner like you! In other words, pressure makes for bad sex even when you actually end up having it, and all that pressure and bad sex might make your wife just lose interest in sex completely.

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